Those who say nothing
by Eleriel
Summary: After Sirius Black's betrayal, Remus Lupin had twelve years before he knew the truth. R&R, please.


**A/N: This was originally written for MNFF's "Apathy is Lethal" challenge, in which it took second. It is also a companion piece to "Broken Glass". Enjoy, and tell me if you did!**

**_Those who say nothing_**

1- Repercussions

Even though you were the traitor,

Even though it was your choice,

Your path you chose to follow,

I keep wondering why they haven't arrested me,

For being the one who never spoke.

Even though I suspected you,

(You weren't acting normal, after all)

Always acting afraid, always so uncertain,

So unlike the brave Gryffindor I grew up with.

I said nothing, afraid that by speaking,

And verifying your treachery,

I'd only be losing you.

Even though now I know

I'd lost you already.

Because I was afraid of change;

Because I couldn't accept that perhaps,

After all, you were as black as your name.

Because I betrayed you, by never speaking.

They should have arrested me,

On that day the world went mad.

I should be sitting in a cell beside you

Or even instead of you.

Because I never said anything,

Even though I knew.

2- Falling

I sit in my kitchen

Drinking long-cold tea.

The hall clock's tick tock

Echoes through the house,

Like some giant, primal heartbeat,

The only reminder of passing time.

I sit at home now, watching as hours pass.

It's not like I have anywhere to go,

(The new owner doesn't like my kind)

Or anyone to visit me.

I only sit in silence, thinking of times long past.

It shouldn't be this way, you know.

I think back on our golden years

And wish we could have stayed,

Just the four of us, forever.

And even though I've asked them a million times,

Questions still pour through my brain:

Would you have changed had I spoken?

Would you have chosen us over him?

Or openly declared your animosity?

But I will never know now.

There is only me,

And the heartbeat of my clock.

3- Darkness

I lay curled up on my threadbare sofa,

Sometimes sleeping, sometimes awake.

It never matters anymore.

Once in a while I arise,

Wandering through a silent house

Full of dusty memories.

No one ever visits anymore.

I should be in your cell now,

And you, the one free—

You had a future, a dream;

I had nothing but dreams,

Dreams that shattered like fallen crystal.

My price to pay for cowardice,

The price for those like me

Who see and never speak.

And sometimes, my mind wanders

To an old chest in the attic,

Full of treasures long-forgotten.

And an old silver knife I found

Long golden summers ago.

And wonder why it's worth it,

Sitting here useless.

4- Remembering

I wander restlessly around the house,

Feeling trapped, in these rooms

So full of dusty memories.

For days and nights I stay awake,

Fearing nightmares that come with sleep.

Shadows of my past that haunt me

Only when I close my eyes.

You know, Sirius,

I never saw little Harry again,

Even though he's probably not

So little anymore.

I never saw Harry after that day,

When we were all together one last time:

We all laughed and joked like old times

Even though our eyes were filled with fear.

It's been eight years now,

Even though I only know because

I need the date for the job applications

That are thrown away as soon as I leave,

And go home to silence, and an empty house.

There's nothing to mark the time anymore:

Doesn't need to be,

When it doesn't matter.

When the only thing I do

Is sit for hours on end.

(Days stretching endlessly on and on).

The clock doesn't tick anymore;

I haven't wound it in years.

I stopped when I realized

I was the only one who cared,

And even I didn't care about the time anymore.

5- Illumination

I often wish you could see the place

Where Lily and James rest forever.

It is quiet and peaceful here;

I am an intruder, because it's my fault:

Had I spoken, they might still be here.

I wonder why you did what you did;

What drew you to such madness?

Was everything so wrong

That you had to betray them?

I know I should never blame you,

Even though I ought.

It's my fault as much as yours.

Right after you were arrested,

Your picture and name were everywhere.

And on everyone's lips the question: "Why?"

And I asked, "Why not me?"

Because the reality is that

There aren't just traitors,

Even though they are to blame:

But those who betray,

And those who know,

And those who still say nothing.


End file.
